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Tuesday, May 31, 2005

*BREAKING NEWS*

TINY, BUT PERSISTANT REPUBLIC LAUNCHES "FALKLAND ISLANDS" STYLE WAR AGAINST COMMUNIST CHINA
Daveberta Daily Star
By: Maxwell T. Ferdinand, Holtopia Bureau Chief

On May 31 at approximately 10:45p.m. (Holtopian standard time), armed commando forces of the Republic of Holtopia launched a tactical assault on the People's Republic of China, securing 3 acres of rice patties. The Holtopian commando’s outfitted in silver tennis shoes and green alien costumes, moved swiftly across the Chinese county-side causing much confusion in the local population as to who these green and silver costumed folks were. This hilarious confusion seems to be the strength of the small Holtopian army, and has led to the creation of their motto, "Laughter, Stealth, Strike."

The President of Holtopia declared May 31 to be a great day in the life of the tiny republic. "Today, we conquer China. Tomorrow, the world!"

A Chinese Government spokesperson described the invasion as a "simple domestic disturbance, which will be dealt with in due time."


*PRESS RELEASE*

DAVEBERTA SUPPORTS HOLTOPIAN INVASION
Office of the Ministry of Social Revolution

"It is my duty to announce that the greatest of the tiny little republics, Holtopia, has launched a "Falkland Islands" style war against the People's Republic of China" the President of Daveberta said at a press conference late last night. The President subsequently announced that the Grand Republic of Daveberta will offer financial aid, "tactical advice," and replacement tennis shoes to the glorious and blessed leader of Holtopia.

The President also described the war as a great economic opportunity for the growing tennis shoe industry that has boomed since the beginning of the NHL Hockey Strike.

2 comments:

holtopia said...

We will be victorious!

We will leave no ginger ale undestroyed! We will terrorize the pets of our enemies! We will listen to the hits of the 80's, 90's and now! And we will wear tube socks, dammit!

Now we must show some chicken and some neck.. or is it some neck and some chicken?

daveberta said...

woah. you mean business :P